We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
