chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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