I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Green mimosas i think yes
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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