so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize