i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The Olympian is in my bed
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
