I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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