belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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