how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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