Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I touched a dick in church today
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
there is puke in my bra ... again
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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