Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sext me about skeletons
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
