People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
