if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
