Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize