i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
