Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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