Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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