You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize