Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
