There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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