She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
