Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
