I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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