Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
