It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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