lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize