We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize