I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
