i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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