at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sext me about skeletons
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
