just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize