Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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