I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
