I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
