yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
