my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
