so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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