My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
