and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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