you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
