Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
