I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
