Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
