Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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