This is not my ceiling
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
