I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
