omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize