No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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