if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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