dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
