you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize