Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
