That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Can I color on your dick again?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
