On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The adults are the big ones right?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
