And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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