I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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