My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
