Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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