Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
