I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
