At least make sure they are 18
Why
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
