Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We had to coat check the pizza.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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