Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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