sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
