ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
